Adoption has always been a choice for people who want to become a mom or dad. There are many reasons why couples want to adopt, some may be unable to give birth and decide adoption is right for them. Others may see ethical reasons for adopting; they themselves were adopted and want to do the same for another child. Whatever the reason may be, you should be well informed of the adoption process by going through an agency. There’s a lot of things to do before an agency will consider you to be a candidate from the large amount of paperwork, to background checks in-home checks and finally the potential matches. While the process will take years to complete, but for want-to-be mothers and fathers it can be the most rewarding thing you have done.
What agency should I go with?
The agency you select, should match your own values. There are thousands of different adoption agencies, from foster homes, to local/regional agencies to international agencies. Maybe you want a baby coming from a family that share your own religious background and focus on searching for those agencies instead. Perhaps, you want to go with one agency that focus on your own ethnicity. Or maybe, you want to go through a foster family, because you want an older child. Whatever your reasoning, it’s important to go with an agency that matches whatever values you hold dear. Before you select the agency, make sure you also well aware of the cost.
How much will all this cost me?
The cost of adopting a child depends on what child you want. If you are going through a local foster care agency, the cost is fairly low ranging from $3,000-$10,000. If you are looking to adopt a newborn, the cost is much higher ranging from $25,000-$50,000, more if it is an international adoption. The cost is split between the agency fees, the home inspection, the legal paperwork, medical expenses, and the marketing to match you with a birth mother. This may not include the travel cost, so the overall cost may be much higher. The cost in the beginning will be a small deposit to cover the cost of the fees and home inspection and increase as you go through the process. Read what the agency cost and find an option that will fit with your budget.
What should I expect once I start?
Once you have selected the agency that you wish to go with, there will be a lot of things to prepare. First the agency will outline the paperwork that goes into your past social and medical history and your plans for your future baby. If you are considering most agencies will ask for references, and they may conduct interviews with them to ensure what you say is accurate. You’ll be expected to fill out consent forms, depending on local laws and policies for them to perform a full background check.
While the agency is conducting the background check, they may send somebody to perform an in-home inspection. Most agencies will employ a social worker to inspect your home they are there to ensure the environment is safe, and to bring up any questions from the background checks. Even after all the amount of work you have done, it is still not a guarantee that the agency will accept you as a client. However, if you make it through the process, the agency will work with you to find a child.
I’ve passed preselection, now what?
Once you have passed the screening process, it is now the agency’s job to find you a child. The process to find a match can take years, do not get discourage if there are no matches right away. If you are through a foster family, the time frame can much shorter than waiting for a newborn. Often the agency will show you a picture of the children that match your desires, and you may decide on the child that you want to raise. If you are trying for an international adoption, the process can be much longer, and more rules may be applied to the adoption. Depending on your agency, your profile may be sent to the expected birth mother, and they may choose who they want to send their baby to. When you match with the birth mother, the agency will set you up with an interview with the birth mother and talk about the desires of both parties. During the interview process with the birth mother, it is also a good time frame to set boundaries.
Some agencies will allow both parties to set rules regarding the child. In the past, the mindset was once the birth mother gives the baby up for adoption, it was done and often as the adopted child grows up, they may search for their birth parents. That is no longer the sole option, some agencies will allow both parties to decide if they want the child to know their birth parents. Do you want the birth parents in the child’s life, but with the understand that this is now your baby? Do you want to cut all ties with the birth parents until they are older? Do you want to allow the visits from the birth parents? These are the questions that you will want to ask and set boundaries with the birth parents before you decide to adopt their child.
What should I know before I adopt my new child?
You have finished everything, gone through the paperwork, had the home inspection and got your match with the potential child of your dream. If you are adopting a child from a local foster home, it could be as simple as driving to the home and picking him/her up. For those who are looking for a newborn baby, it can be a bit more challenging. Often you will be expected to travel to the location to pick up your child and take the child to their new home. If you are trying for an international adoption, you will be expected to fly to the location to pick them up. But, even with the match and everything ready to go you should be prepared for last minute complications.
There may be last minute complications, that may prevent you from receiving your newborn baby. Even after doing everything right, and you are ready to receive your newborn baby, the birth mother at the very end may decide that she wants to keep the baby. Depending on your local laws, they may allow the birth mother time to change their mind. While it may be a heart wrenching moment to know that the baby that you always wanted is not coming you, remember to respect the mother’s wishes. Adoption is a life changing event for all parties but not feel discourage, the agency will help you with finding another match.
Is adoption right for me?
Only you can answer the question if adoption is the choice for you. The agency should be reflective of your own values of what you want. There is a lot of work to get through the screening process before they will match you with a child. But, even after matching, things can still happen that you need to persevere. It is expensive to adopt a child, but for many people this can seen as their only option. Your choice of going through adoption, will not only be a lifechanging event for yourself, but for the child as well.
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